They Dont Have To Know…. Its not done but since you read my last little random thought slash Bitch fest, I owe it to you

Fast forward into time and we find a young Man, Broken to his core at the foot of his bed. The question plays quietly in the room like a whisper…. “How do you recover after you’ve been broken beyond your foundation, and then still shattered to more pieces. It was the sound of the phone that triggered the thought, which would lead him to the truth. Because through all of the troubles and all of the tribulations, he loved her, and nothing would stop him from getting through this rough patch with the only woman he ever loved. So with the idea that she was out with the girls, he went to go get a room at the nicest hotel he could find, so that the two of them could get away of everyone and everything, and rediscover the sanctuary that they once found in each others arms. Take a second to step away from this visual, and bounce a little into the past, just a splinter…. He’s in the Honeymoon suite a King Sized bed is covered in pink roses (her favorite) and in the background, Luther Vandross and Billie Holladay croon softly through the speakers, the scent that surrounds the room is the sweet aroma of her favorite Vanilla scented candles. The room is set up perfectly for them.

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My Heart

On November 4^th 2008 at 11:25pm everyone was ecstatic celebrating like there was no tomorrow. For the first time in my 22 years and for the first time in this great country’s long history we have a black president. The campus was exploding in shouts of jubilation accomplishment, hugs, handshakes, and victory dances. While all of this went on I cried. It started off as subtle tears of happiness, but before long they transformed into soul shattering heart piercing sobs. I began to cry like never before and I could not stop.

This election meant way more to me than I could have ever known, but despite every scenario that ran through my head, I would have never expected to react the way that I did when it was announced that Obama had won. I have never been one to put all of my hope and faith into one person. In my heart of hearts I have always felt that we are the ones that dictate our own futures, and that we were the ones who should push and motivate our selves. But after years of doing it alone and feeding off of the motivation to rise up from where I came from, I found myself second guessing everything.

I started to look around and see all of my friends who had graduated from college but were working at H&M. I looked at my father who has worked since he was 11 years old, when he retired things were supposed to be different this was supposed to be his chance to enjoy life. Instead I am forced to watch my 60+ year old father walk out of his one bedroom basement apartment every night to go work his overnight shift. So while you have senior citizens who work to stay occupied, my father must work to survive. Despite all of his years of hard work, social security alone would not keep a roof over his head. I became numb to the sights and sounds of people my age in the same institution as I am, unable to write beyond the third grade level. I slowly began to make excuses and instead of seeing the solutions, I found it easier to pinpoint the problems. Life can be sobering when watching failure through the eyes of the ones you love the most. It hurts because you feel for your friends, and when reality hits and you understand that their fate can just as easily be yours, the idea that change is possible becomes a faint thought in the midst of your battle to survive. So when it was time to sit and do homework, I would stare at the paper trying to will words that would get me through another week of homework, but the only thing that would come out was the question that I had already tortured myself with for so long. “What for”? Why work so hard when I am more likely to be in the same position that I am in now if not worse. Why fight for student rights when it seems like no one else is willing to join in the fight, why try to educate people on their history, how can someone appreciate the past when they don’t even acknowledge their present.

I struggled with this for days, weeks and months, but no matter how hard I tried to hide this feeling of defeat it became harder and harder every day. So on November 4^th 2008 I stood at Suny Oldwestbury’s TV game room talking to a group of students preaching to them about a future that I was no longer sure of, hoping that through my words I could give them faith, and through their faith that my hope could be reborn, and just when it seemed like I was speaking in vain, the results came in, Barack Obama was the first African American President of the United States. So while everyone went crazy I stood there in shock, thinking about every moment where I felt nothing mattered, the hot mid- summer afternoons when I tried to take out a student loan to pay for summer classes but didn’t have good enough credit. Then I think about the day when my father told me I was living in a world of restrictions because I was a black man, and when I finally come to only about a second has passed, but it’s enough time for me to realize that nothing will ever be the same again.

The glass ceiling is broken, and hard work does pay off. You may not always inspire at the moment but as long as you plant the seed something will happen, and most of all if you never give up on the heart of people they will someday pay you back for your faith. I was ready to give up on my goals, I was one step away from falling into the same trap I worked so hard to avoid, and with the election of one man, I saw in that instant that everything is going to be ok. I don’t know when things will be ok, and I don’t know how it will happen, but god as my witness everything is going to be ok. So when that first tears slid down my cheek and I saw students of all class standings, backgrounds, races, religious beliefs and life motives hugging like they always knew each other. I knew there was hope for me and for everyone else in this world. So as long as I keep on fighting there will always be hope in this world. Obama won the election but in the process he along with every American man woman and child in this beautiful country gave me back something that I had been missing for a long time, my heart.

The Puzzle of infatuation

Bubbling from the inside pushing its way up to the core, what factors control the substance in which self control dwells.

Through tainted eyes the vision can be skewed to a point of disbeleif but clearly staking the blink remains the same.

Heat strokes for thoughts pass through the burning flames of mental slavery, but are then doused with the idea of wrong doing.

but through every visual stroke of eye contact the feeling is fortified, sending waves of guilt through the membrame,

How can one blink for she, when just the other he blinked for her, but through the dialated trial of her, the tears never rained a drop of truth.

so as she enters the level of reality, all is krystal clear to the naked truth of ones feelings.

The Miseducation Of The Man

A long time ago, and some time ago I was told to be a man you had to do certain things. But lately I have seen a contradiction from what my father has said to me… I call this the Miseducation of the Man See if you can keep up..

While I strive to become something beyond what my father ever imagined, I continue to try to build on whatever I already am. Because in my heart of hearts, I cant just be stanley, I struggle with the hopes of being remembered as a great man. With the honor that ones envy while keeping a humble soul that inspires love, with my father guidance, I want to be a man that the world can be proud of.

So curse real loud, and I sag my pants, following paths that dont always lead me to the future that benefits a soul……

And through the pressure of my peers I let go of my own beliefs and cave into what others think is the common norm

Why get a job, and strive to be something when one can slumber in the depths of his own failure. To be a man is to be different and the obvious goal is to just fit in.

I grew up in one of the roughest parts of Brooklyn and have shared the streets with men who have taken lives, getting the opportunity to dissect their thoughts.

And with their heart of hearts, the life they live is not the one they wanted when they were growing up, but the easy way out is not always the easy street that we see, but we cant face our fears and we dance on easy street, then when our love ones need us to stand we cant because our spines are meek, crubmling at the first pulsing pull of pressure.

I am a man, so I slide inside the velvety walls of your confines, stroking my way to my peak. This makes me a man and while you scream my name I take this intimacy as a victory

I am so big and strong and nothing matters at all so with a condom I entered who cares about reprecussions.

And when you approach me with that disturbed look in your eye, my shattered soul begins to cry because in the canal where my heart once laid I know you are with child.

But child you might be I cant face up to what I’ve done, but I can run because my fear is what I embrace.

I’m a man not from how I stand up to the pressure, but from the amount of baby mothers I can escape.

Fuck the son fuck the mothers and the daughters, Im no father Im no brother, I strive for the satisfaction of my own climax.

Make me a man be one of my own I cant stand for you alone because your growth will not benefit a thing for my soul.

But why do I do this………

I was born with the ability to facilitate life, with the strong shoulders so that my mother sister daughter, friend could shed her tears, but if I take on this role, the weight of the world may weaken me.

As a leader I stand alone, ready for chastise from all angels, To stand for my word is a pressure that folds me before I ever create a thought. The Idea of being a man is one that is more Convenient than the actual intent to live out what it means…..

I cant love another more than I can ever love me. The dedication, motivation and stamina it takes to help another soul, could destroy my personal joys as a heartbreak no matter how good is always inevitable.

I dont fear to be happy I fear the chances of complete failure, so to hide from what I am is the way that I can escape.

No father in my life, so why should I bother to love my child, through this tough world controversy is how we should all strive.

What I know…..

I cant define if I’m a man but my heart tells me what a man should be, I look at my father and he show’s me what a man is, than I look at those that I love and do everything to be the man they need me to be.

A man loves his friends and family giving them everything he can, Failure may be possible but through the toughest of times he’s unflappable.

But in the deepest heart of any man, fear is always the obstacle, for as I write this out to you, I fear it has not got to you, and I fret even more that I can not be the man that I ought to be…..

Without the chance of perfection I sometimes wallow in my imperfections but my passion for my life gives me the strength to continue my fight….. And through my fathers eyes I see a path and a future so bright.

A Man is In my Eyes

A man is the protector of all that is right, fear not what you cant do but fight for what is the truth

A man is the backbone of those who cant always stand for themselves… your battles mean nothing if you cant save another soul

A man is the outcast he at times stands alone with his words, but it is this audacity that establishes him as what he has to be

A man has the patience of a thousand lives, but the knowledge to react without a thought, A man is what you want it to be but in all he is honorable…..

My Thanks

I thank my father you have shown me the light and for my years alive I hope I can be what you are… Your strenght and your poise, your love and your pride has made me not afraid of others or even of my own light…..

And when I have a child I will raise him/her with pride I will raise my son into a man, or my daughter into a queen, My father didnt raise no fool he helped to build me….

And to the other Men in My life who have helped with this Blueprint… Darren we may not be blood but a second father Is what you are to me….

I strive to be something greater and these two men inspire me, I can never fail, because you two love me inspite of me…. so with your support I’ll call out to the others, I’ve done some good in my life but Now I need to save my brothers

To My brothers, black or white, spanish, asian, yellow, or green…. We need to stand and make a statement one the world has never seen.

Because of us this universe struggles we need to stand up to our test… The Miseducations of the man need to meet their final death.

And to those who love the life who keep this lifestyle and enjoy…. I cry my tears of hurt because yourself you will destroy….

But I can no longer sit back and hear the painful cries of this beaten world, I am a Man and I shall Stand with or without any other one by my side, and I pledge for my god and for the two men who have pushed me…. That I will give all that I have to push the Manhood Back Into The Man

They Dont Have To Know

….Covered in a spurt of instincts…. Heavy breaths…..panting… going so fast and yet its all in slow motion…. I strain my eyes to catch a glimpse of my actions, but the darkness of the room shoots me two pictures…one of the blackness around me, and the other, the outline of your body waiting for the second wave of action. Sweat streaks, nails, lips and Moans swoosh across my skin. Every action like a lightning bolt, the tension has built up and is now burning holes through the walls of our once sturdy morals. The room is coated with the scent of vanillia flavored candles and lust finally being expressed, and like the wax of the candle our Concious slowly drips away with every stroke that blends in with the sounds of  pleasure being expressed through the vocals of our once so secretive mouths.

Moving franticly yet methodically around the battlefeild disguised as a mattress I’m directly hit by the missle’s that are your legs. And with no chance to react the smooth hotness of your skin easily mixes in with mines, changing my once calculated moves into a now easy rhythm focused in and corperating through the participation from both of our bodies. sensuality has hit new peaks, and its clear that this is no short ride, because in the next splinter of a second we flow seamlessly into another position, friction, juices, and kisses directing our intentions through the art of our entanglemnt.

My hand roams so freely on the pearly warm flesh of your body, caressing the sweetness of your skin, breathing in your shortened breaths. You dig into my hunger for your body, scratching for some sign that this is just a dream and nothing in reality can feel this explicitly amazing. Instead the idea of a dream melts away when another orgasim has rocked you into a frenzy of euphoria.

A taste of heaven held between the soft coatings of the lips you just so sweetly kissed mines with simply moments ago. crazed and drunk with redemption on your mind, no trip to perfect hapiness can be given without one in return, so the idea of continuing your exploration of flavor is one that comes without a second thought.

But no action of selfishness is submissable in this tantric battle that we continue at the corners of the hotel room that we have so conveniently turned into our sanctuary. And we find ourselves going blow for blow in the pools of our own flavors. Where all the kisses, licks and caresses are returned with the other trying to send a new wave of perfection through the body of their counterparts.

Reeling from how great this is, I almost find myself forgetting that soon it must come to an end, at least for today, and just when I am able to block that thought from my mind, the web of sexual limbs that we have captured each other in, is interrupted by the sounds of “Teach Me”. Musiq Soul Child, croons through the speakers of my phone, sending a new sensation into my heart. But in the heat of the moment nothing matters but our instant. The song plays through, and even though I know its her, she can kindly speak to my voicemail because its always waiting to listen.

So captured in this time that were spending and all of a sudden she can hear her phone buzzing at a frantic pace, playing without ending to a tune that she wishes would die, But Halo’s belong to angels, and death is a distant dream to those who have reached this status in her heart. She almost stops in the middle of the action to answer but at this moment the one who seems to entice her soul the most is the same one stirring it with every pleasurable action known to man. So instead of coming to the callers beck and call, she goes on all fours asking for her partner to enter her from behind. And through every stroke she inserts a new reason to be mad at the caller, and when I pull her hair the pain and pleasure mixed into that sexual coctail leaves her drunk with no reason to feel guilt in this sexual bliss.

But this moment does not last forever, and before we know it the friction of our skin, the rhythm of our bodies and the juices of our souls overflow until the point of explosion. And with every ounce of energy left the implosion of physical, emotional, sexual, and moral fiber of both our bodies leave us in a pool of sexual satisfaction that even adultry can not spoil.

And as I lay there panting for air I cant help but think about how much I love my wife, and her beautiful smile along with how amazing she makes me feel, but even in the strongest of love, a moment of curiosity and a splinter of lust can create a tornado of passion with another partner. I love my wife but this feeling of sexual amazingness is on a level not ever comprehended with the woman I said I do too, so until that moment comes, all I can do is say to my self…”She dont have to know”.

Still foating on that cloud of ultimate satisfaction, the thoughts of her husband resurface, and although the pain and guilt of cheating on her companion for life stings with a sharp burn. the light hot, cool sensation of euphoria accomplished through this sexcapade leaves her so open with satisfaction, that it becomes easy for her guilt to slip through the cracks. The man that she loves is somewhere at home expecting her back from a night out with the girls at any moment, and through her adoration of him, the problems that plauge any couple has taken its toll on their once unbreakable bond. So until these problems are solved to a point where she can once again see progress all she can do is pick up her clothes and while in the shower whisper away the guilt with the words “He dont have to know”.

The Disrespect of some

I cant help but feel highly disrespected by the actions of Joe Wilson. How dare you scream out and try to discredit President Obama during his speech. Something like this would have never happened when Bush was in office, and his entire time in office was one big screw up after another. I find it harder and harder every day to keep on believing that some of the stuff that is occurring is not racially charged. But Ignorance aside, I am proud to have voted for Obama and I was really impressed that he did not stoop down to that mans level, he showed no emotion, and instead continued his speech. He acted the way that the President of your free nation is supposed to act. I’m disgusted by some of the people that represent us. Check out the link below and tell me what you think.

Just A Thought

I’m not really into turning into a big Michael Jackson fan just because he died, but he made some great songs, so I figured I might share my favorite one with you and what is pretty much the best music Video ever next to Thriller

just finished going through my old emails from like three years ago…I think I messed things up with a really good girl

So when I first got to my current college, I met this girl, really pretty girl great personality with a lot of goals. we were kind of dating for a bit, but for some reason I screwed things up. I dont even remember why I ended things with her but I did.  Anyways out of boredome I’ve been going through my Myspace Message inbox, and found an old message she sent me. I think this is after we stopped dealing with each other.

To:

• The man wit the pl…

Date:

Feb 13, 2007 1:03 AM

Subject:

Hey…

I never wrote to you before so I thought I would give it a shot. Was wondering what you did today….The gurlz hung out today. We were actually comforting Dafina because her boyfrined was really doing her wrong today(basically broke up with her). Renna also had an encounter with her man, and we had to comfort her as well. The both of them were a hot mess today. I was trying to give them advice on what to do in a situation like that. They both would not listen though…wat was said was done. Made me think a bit…On how depressed everyone was today… between you, reena and dafina. Kinda strange how a whole day can bring down someones spirit to the point of no self control. Not knowing what to do or say, not knowing to be the same person or change to fit someone elses needs. I felt for all of you today. Stanley, I really did not have too much time to talk you but I think it is important that you follow your heart. Listen to your spirit and if your spirit is telling you to go right then do it. You shouldn’t feel bothered or ashamed if your heart is telling you what to do. God has a plan for all of us and whatever the case may have been, you were supposed to be in my life, the way you were, for whatever amount of time you were…for a reason. Its a lesson that will probabaly unfold later in life. I just thank you for being such a sweet person and I thank you for always being honest with me. You have such a great personality and don’t let the obsticals of life, tainted love or unwanted liers change who you are. I know you will be a great friend to me and I hope you know I will be a great friend to you.

Much luv my brotha…
Cheriece

Body:

I dont know what our relationship may have turned into. For all I know that was the end..But I get the feeling I cheated myself out of a great girl from ignorance and immaturity. I just wrote her a message and left it in her facebook inbox… hears what it say’s..

Hey whats up*****

… I know this is Extremely random, but I was going through my old Inbox messages on myspace and I still had a couple of our Convo’s saved. It brought me back to the time when you and I were in the same building and hung out a bit.. I thought about our falling out and three years removed from it, I see that I was a real jerk to you. You were always a good friend, and for whatever reason I couldn’t handle that, I was to busy waiting for someone to do something bad to me I didn’t realize I had a good friend right in front of me. I know at this point your probably re reading this email trying to figure out what would posses me to send this message, but I really feel in my heart that I owe you this apology, I’m not sure if its more for you or for me but it was necessary. I’m not trying to bag you, I know you have a man but I do hope that we can be friends. But once again thanks for being such a good person to me, and I apologize for not returning the favor. So besides this message being three years too late, I hope to hear from you..feel free to hit me up on aim.. Scrambldvisions

And Congrats on graduating I was really proud of you…I know your teaching now but I hope you still try to become a magazine editor that’s a good look

Its to late for anything with her, she’s madly in love…but damn I know I’m gonna regret this for a long time smh

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Confused

Just a couple of things I am trying to understand…

1. Why take pictures of yourself in Lingerie post them on a dating site, and leave no other information if you get mad when a guy asssumes you just want sex?
2. Why call yourself something like “IWANTYOURCOCKINMYMOUTHNOW69″ if you dont want my cock in your mouth now…..
3. Do Women Really know what they want?
4. If every girl is one of a kind, how is any female original?

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LL Cool J: Bitter Old Man

When two employees enter a job, neither one of them should have a mindset of complacency inside of their head. There should always be a hunger to climb that corporate ladder, because no matter what your status is, if you’re not the head man in charge, you can be kicked right off.

If second fiddle is ok with you, then at least understand you should always have some level of paranoia about your status. Understand that no matter what you have done for your company if the right person wants you gone you can leave. So with that thought in hand you should know everything you need to know to keep your situation at float. If you fail at that, don’t blame others for your failures. Its doesn’t take a genius to figure it out; it’s just a common sense thing.After years of faithful service to Def Jam records, LL Cool J seems to be fed up and ready to leave. When asked why, he cited the current Def Jam president (Jay-Z) as his main reason. Saying, “How am I gonna re-sign with competition, I’m not an idiot. I can’t depend on that man to promote my record while he’s somewhere writing rhymes. … I’m LL Cool J. I ain’t doing that, B.” Then just recently in the song “It’s a Queens Thing” he went on to throw some subliminals:

“I don’t slide like Usher, I don’t make no bands, I ain’t a frontin’ ass coward, I don’t rig Soundscan./ I wish Rick and Russell was back, I miss the old Def Jam. ‘Cause them new monkeys act like they don’t know who I am./ The promotion and marketing wasn’t worth a damn. /Now they on the balls again ‘cause 50’s my man? It’s a Queens’s thing, doofy; this is how we do…”.

After so many words being tossed in the Def Jam President’s direction from mister Todd Smith, its hard not to see that he may just be little bitter.

Lets think about it though, does he have a reason to be? LL’s first studio album came out in 1985, it is now the year 2007. Over those 22 years he has released 12 studio albums (including upcoming release Exit 13), won two Grammy awards, and has starred in several movies. Despite all of this success, LL has never introduced any artists, or even showed an interest in the industry outside of selling records. Like it or not this was one of the main reasons Jay-z was given the position of President and not him.

While one was taking his shirt off in countless videos and expanding towards an acting career, the other was building his empire, signing quality artists, and becoming a global icon. He has surpassed LL in almost every aspect of Hip-Hop. The nail in the coffin was him (Jay-z) being given the oh so glorified President position at Def Jam.

So now after his last album did less than stunning numbers, LL is angry all of a sudden and has a problem with Jay-Z? For a man of 39 years old who has been in the industry for over twenty years, and has such massive status why would you rely on another man to make your album sell?LL is right when he says he is one of the best to ever do it, and he is the reason Def Jam made it through those infant stages, but this is 2007 and what he did for Def Jam is nothing but a fond memory. Other than his album sales he has not really brought in much revenue for the label nor has he shown that he can build revenue from anything other than himself.

He’s Hip Hop’s very own Jose Canseco, as he has the ability to hit a home run (when it comes to record sales) but other than that he’s pretty useless and as the years go by every power hitters’ numbers will diminish. Knowing this, why would Def Jam put in an exuberant amount of money into his album, seeing that it was the most poorly received album from LL since “14 Shots To the Dome”. With a general album consensus rating as low as 2/5, does that sound like a home run hit to you?

What is LL really angry at? Is he mad that, in less time, President Carter has the position that LL was promised so many years ago? If so he has no stable ground to stand on. Promises are broken everyday, credentials influence those in power, and these days ones’ money making abilities are the only thing that guarantee results in this industry.

Should Jay Z have given his last album more attention, better promotion, and a “Kingdom Come-like” marketing plan? Probably, but if your going to get a Kingdom Come” marketing plan you have to pull in Kingdom Come” numbers, and the last time Mr. Todd smith went double platinum it was 1997. Combine that with declining rap sales, and the marketing plan used on his album made sense financially. Its been a little over a year and the album “Todd Smith” has only managed to go gold. Those numbers have nothing to do with a marketing plan, but they speak volumes about his popularity.

Yes LL is bitter, but honestly from the facts stated above he really has no right. He’s not a superstar in the Soundscan, he has never really seem to show the corporate skill, or desire to be an executive, and to be quite frank his last album sucked. He did more for hip hop than any one that I can think of, because in all honesty if he does not sign with Def Jam, Jay might have never comes into, half of the people who are here now might not be where they are.

He had an eleven year head start and still managed to fall behind. Don’t get mad now, its too late. He had his chance, but opportunity sped right past him, and from what it looks like, he probably just licked his lips and left it be.

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More Random Stuff

Still feeling some kind of way about certain things, but currently kind of feeling better at the same time….didnt have much to write today, well at least at this moment so I figured I would post a vid and just say hi, lol… Maybe I’ll have something constructive up later today….Maybe….

oh and as always Make sure you check out condron.us

Random thoughts

In the attempt to escape the way that we feel, we sometimes run right into it.

So instead of sprinting away from the thing that hurts us the most

We stand pat and watch as it tortures us with everything we never wanted to know

and even in that instant of pain, I still cant seem to take my eyes away

For a female to be able to have this control over me

I cant beleive I need to break free, But instead I stand straight as shoot right through.

so clearly these are my random thoughts, their clearly not that random because everyone who knows me knows exactly who and what I’m talking about. But for those of you who dont know me this is just another random thought through poetry. I really am frustrated so for no this is how I have to get it out… I’ll put some real content up tommorow, but right now this is just my mood…Real pissed and bothered by certain circumstances

Might As Well

Since I am currently in a very shitty mood, and pissed about this girl I guess I’ll just post some songs that will help me express my anger without expressing them outwardly.

This is a good song

This one because I feel like I keep making the same mistake with all of the women I pursure… SMFH

This is how she makes me feel right now

I do wish she would have liked me

Another Classic

you tell anybody I admitted having a broken heart, or anything close to it and I’ll kill you lol

 

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She Hates Me

I dont usually do this but today I’m definitely in the need to express some of my frustrations. I’ve liked this girl for a while now, probably since late February. She was busy with an Internship for most of the spring semester so the only way I could keep in contact with her was through sporattic text messages, which is totally fine, so she returns from her internship and I make my move.

I tell her how I feel and that I really want to get to know her better, with the hopes that well you know…. So she told me that I could give it a shot, but it was going to take hard work.

Since then I’ve tried to call her to hang out…No Bueno… I’ve texted her…and she would respond back once in a while. When I invited her to hang out….. I would get no response, but everytime I was ready to throw in the towel she seemed to give me a reason to hang tight and keep on fighting.

Then I run into her at an event a mutual friend was hosting, where I blatantly asked her if I was wasting my time, and she gives me nothing, never told me anything that would make me back down…..

But now all of a sudden I hear through a pretty reliable source, that she’s seeing some one else… I cant even Express how frustrated I am…. Its not even the fact that she’s not interested. I could have handled that, but why did she have to lead me on, and why couldnt she just been honest from the very begining.. So now I’m here feeling all Kinds of Pissed and wondering why I ever wasted my time…. Life truely does suck sometimes

Cant do shit but just listen to this song until I feel better.

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